Princess of the World

I ride my bike from about March to November. I try to be a good cyclist, and as always, I am opinionated about what that means.

A cyclist was killed three weeks ago here in Toronto, after he and a car were in a standard(ish) altercation. After the first shouty/ angry/ argument between car and bike, the cyclist then chased after the car on foot, grabbed onto the driver’s side window frame (and possibly the steering wheel, I guess we’ll find out when it’s in court), and then the driver made the terrible (and one can assume panicked) choice to drove onto the wrong side of the road to try and knock him off the car by scraping him along post boxes, street signs and anything else he could find. It eventually worked.

The cyclist a bike courier, was drunk (and a drunk) and had just had an altercation with the cops. The driver was the former attorney general of Ontario.

This tragedy has raised the hackles of the cycling community and the driving community who hate the cycling community. I rode in a large cycling rally after it happened, that I probably shouldn’t have ridden in. I was riding because I think cyclists have a right to be on the road and to have the respect of other drivers, and to feel safe. Unfortunately I think that by chasing after the car and grabbing onto the driver’s side, a fact I learned after the rally, the cyclist took this incident from a fairly standard bike vs car daily unpleasant incident, and into the realm of stupid aggressive fight, where everyone behaved terribly and now someone is dead. I imagine it’s pretty scary when an angry drunk man chases your car down and tries to grab your steering wheel, but scraping him off with a post box? Ugh… I dunno, I wasn’t there but the situation is horrific and has ruined the lives of everyone involved, most especially the guy who ended up dead.

I think for cyclists to demand respect, and we do (usually in a whiny, angry, self righteous way), we need to start respecting the rules of the road. Every day I see cyclists not stopping at red lights and stop signs and, certainly, most of the time nothing bad happens. But sometimes it does and the consequences can be pretty bad. We don’t have a right to disobey the rules of the road just because our machines aren’t as dangerous as cars, it’s still against the law and it bloody hurts when you get hit by a bike. And just because some drivers are total douche bags doesn’t give us the right to roll through a stop sign, in fact, it’s all the more reason not to. Don’t allow drivers take any moral high ground! Boo for moral high ground in an SUV!

Now for some language I picked up at Catholic school…

STOP LISTENING TO YOUR FUCKING IPOD WHEN YOU CYCLE YOU NUMBFUCK DICK HEADED IDIOT. It takes away 50% of your ability to ride your fucking bike safely, and forces me to have to deal with you. If you don’t pull over far enough because you don’t hear my bell and you ride your loser hipster fucking bike into me and into the path of a douche bag car, I will sue you (American stylze mother fucker) for every cent you and your parents have, and further more, I will beat the living SHIT out of you you selfish fuck. Also, if you get hit by a car when you’re listening to your ipod, you deserve it. Pop some Aimee Mann on your ipod next time you can get on your bike after leaving the hospital and CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER. Grow the fuck up and leave your heap of shit, I heard them first, indie band tunes for the fucking gym.

Finally, if you’re a boy and you think you’re faster than me so you pull in front of me when I’m stopped at a traffic light, you. better. be. fucking. faster. than. me.

That’s all. Sara’s rules of the road, some more official than others. That we are doing our bit to lessen pollution, unclog roads, strengthen our lungs and get outside isn’t enough, we gotta obey the rules like everyone else and maybe by being great examples we can lead the way for others.

Now this, this I can respect...

Peel.

Hey, you know how Walmart sucks and so we don’t shop there? You know how if you buy an apple that was grown more than 13 metres away you half expect a large, hairy, croc clad foot to come down from the top of the screen and squoosh you into a Monty Python-esque carbon footprint shape? Well I have similar feelings about Skype and now I’m going to tell you why.

I live far from many of my best friends and am repeatedly asked if I have Skype. For those of you who live under a rock, Skype is a communication company who offer live chat (like msn and googletalk) and free, or very cheap phone calls from your computer or phone, great for people staying in touch over long distances. I don’t use it, and I want to tell you why, so you can decide if you care or not.

Early last year our favorite nerd discovered that Skype in China was monitoring and archiving people’s chat conversations (for the benefit of the Chinese government). This is despite Skype execs claiming that (in China) ‘full end-to-end security is preserved and there is no compromise of people’s privacy’.

You can read more about this, written by people who know shit about shit on Nart’s blog, the NY Times, Wired Magazine and a billion other smarty pants sites that you can look up yourself (lazy bones).

We all know about the Chinese government right? We got that memo? They do some bad shit to lots of people who don’t deserve to be treated like that. I think it’s really disappointing that Skype have chosen not to follow all of this up with a resounding fuck you to Tom Communications and come up with a method of not enabling this to happen. I guess there is too much money to be made in the Chinese market to simply make the ethical decision not to be involved in this case. Anyway, I just think this shows highly questionable ethics and is a clear warning that Skype isn’t as secure and private as we all thought.

Now, I make hypocritical decisions constantly, I admit that. I have organic foods delivered to my house but I get them to bring me avocados in winter. I find people who eat McDonald’s a total mystery but I love Cheezies (or Twisties in Australia). I despise George W Bush but am totally addicted to opium AND love cheap Afghani rugs. The list is so extensive that I could go on for EVER. I guess I’m trying to say that I understand that other people will be able to look past this – Oprah uses Skype for all out of town interviews for God’s sake. However, if you don’t approve of the Chinese government doing whatever the fuck they want then just have a think about whether you want to support a company that actively chooses to enable this and is most distinctly not honest about it. That’s all.*

*That’s not really all. Skype claimed after this all came out, that they were shocked! and were looking into it immediately! good heavens! exclamation! So I’m going to email them and ask them if they did do anything about it, if they did, that’s definitely a step in the right direction. Graeme is doubtful. I’ll let you know.

So a few years ago I realised I felt really strongly about something. I try not to yell about it to everyone because it’s a pretty divisive issue, but in much the same way that I read a bit of Dawkins and realised calling myself agnostic WAS hypocritical and utterly ridiculous, it’s time I try to muddle through my thoughts on paper.

I don’t understand why women change their last name when they get married.

Further to that, I find it makes me cross. Sure, it’s your choice, but you know what? I think your choice is stupid. Now, there are certainly exceptions to that. A not super close friend got married recently and changed her name because she didn’t like her own last name. Her last name wasn’t McStinkycrotch, but it was a harsh sounding name that she didn’t like, so she took the next name that came along. THAT makes sense to me as it wasn’t for him, it was for her, he was sort of incidental. Changing your last name because you can’t wait to ditch your shitty family and your lecherous uncle or your sucky, unhappy upbringing, THAT makes sense to me.

Changing your last name because it’s easier? Because hyphenated names are so complicated? Because what about the kids? That makes no sense to me. I think it’s lazy and false and I find it an offense to feminism. I know! IN YOUR FACE TOLERANCE!

I like equality. My smart, femmo, lesbo, artsy, fantastic parents made sure that equality is so ingrained in me, so obvious, it rarely occurs to me that it’s even a thing still. And that’s one of my problems with the surname issue, most men still don’t change their name and would NEVER dream of it. Some of you guys do, I know that (my father did in fact), but generally, it is the women who do it.

It’s certainly not easier, doing nothing is easier. Changing all your bank cards and driver’s license and all of that malarkey, is a big kerfuffle so pretending it’s easier just seems ridiculous. And tradition just doesn’t cut the mustard for me anymore either. Tradition involves women getting lesser pay (still), less political representation, dowries, corsets, staying at home with the kids – you know what I’m saying. I just don’t see why it is more important for the man to keep his last name, and by the same token expect that a woman should change hers. Why should she?

And what IS the drama with hyphenated names? You wanna show the world you’re a team and can’t bear to have separate names? It’s a new concept I suppose because traditionally women never had the choice before, so it’s one of the steps we have to take towards modernity in relationships. I would argue that in 20 years (hopefully sooner) nobody bats an eyelid at hyphens. If a hyphen kid marries another hyphen kid they can figure it out for themselves, and a woman sacrificing her name for her husband’s for the future sake of their children? Pish posh. Anyway, if me and GB’s future robot kid marries our friends’ kid (a Villeneuve-Moody blend) their last name could be VillaBunMoonPee. HOW AWESOME IS THAT??? If the kid chooses instead to marry the child of the Smeaton-Love couple, we could have a SmeePeeBunLove marriage. So great!

Also, SURELY loving each other, respecting each other, holding hands through the tough times and competing for who makes the best pasta sauce is a much better way to show the world you’re a team? Showing the world that you are one strong couple that defers to the man when life decisions need to be made just doesn’t seem so strong to me. And raising your daughter so she understands she got her dad’s name instead of her mum’s because that’s just how it is, is pathetic. I’d much rather sit and make up fantastic anagrams of last and middle names that sound like exotic animals and robot astronauts than talk about how one day she’ll find the man she marries and give up her name too. Because it’s “nice”. Puke.

Of course women can make their own decisions, that’s a big part of feminism but I don’t see why she would choose that. Unless it’s to please her husband. And in the case of a patriarchal (and misogynist) tradition, it’s a funny way to show your feminism.

So that’s all. I think it’s stupid and false. And if you’re going to defer to your husband’s wishes because it’s easier or because that’s the nice thing to do, then call it what it is so you can hold your head high and claim your 80% of his wages. Be proud of your choice, because I think it’s a shame.